everyday there are many thoughts that pass through that head of mines...today it is the exact same thing.  Especially on a day where I am more alone, I had a mind that was more clear which led me through a time zone of the past to the present.  I am getting more and more angry at these so call friends that i know...Are they really even my friends at all?  I feel as if I am non-existent to them.  Some may see my facebook and go wow you have bla bla bla number of friends.  I think really I only remember as my past memory.  You may stay in contact with some of them, but how many of them actually call you to say hi, or recognize your existence.  I remember a friend once say hey why not give this a chance for yourself to meet more friends.  I told her, I am scared...She said why?  I said I am afraid of losing them and end up with no friends again.  I am really tired of friends that were my friends in the past, but now only talk to me if I message them.  I still remember telling some of these friends, "hey you two are really important to my life"...The response i got was not one i would enjoy...they said, "hey Simon we havent been talking or hanging out last few years, so i don't think we are close at all and find it weird that you say that.  I think as a friend I gave it the best shot to stay in contact with them and treat them in how I would want to be treated.  I find that these friends only say they are my friends when they are in turmoil or in another words in a sad state and need some guidance or help.  I am afraid to talk to people in getting to know them and getting closer.  Even though I may seem friendly, thats the deep down thought inside.  I am afraid of being hurt again by friends who say they are my friends.  I sound soo negative in some sense.  I sometimes try to talk to people now and get them to open up to me.  All I am getting is some really nice responses that make me feel I am still a stranger to them.  I don't feel a sense they are friendly to me...Is more like pretending to be nice...I am not stupid! I can feel it when you people are pretending.  I have lived long enough...I hope God can give me the patience in not giving up in these people that I want to become good friends with forever...I am just venting my feelings, cheers! Like many girls.. I want people to care and talk to me too... it gives me a sense of security...Otherwise,
中秋節快樂 to everyone!
　　　　　　

A hot day was expected anywhere outside of sunset.  And it was no surprise that when I got to Muir woods the weather was going to be nice and hot.  At first I thought were were going to walk through woods that were shady and more cool.  That nice thought did not last long as our group started on a trail that was much more steep and difficult to climb.  It was not hard for me in terms of how steep the hill was, but it was the heat that constantly burned me to the point i was pouring with sweat.  Otherwise, the hike was pretty fun since I had many small talks with different people and laughed a whole bunch.  Thanks to the people that made me laugh and felt at peace when I was there with them.  Also, thank god for everyone coming back to sf safe and not hurt.  He was with us entirely on that trip, looking after us and providing us with protection. 

Today's gathering at the fellowship went quite well as usual.  With the help from everyone who prepared and bought food, I can see everyone had a fair share of the food and enjoyed themselves.  Good job with the soup Connie! I can really taste the corn.... In addition, our little group bible study went well with Connie leading us.  There were things that we read in the bible tonight that we can all take with us.  We all have done things in our lives that would be considered immoral or wrong according to god.  I think it is very difficult for anyone to consider themselves pure in the sense that they have not done one thing wrong in their lives.  Let's not forget what we have learn tonight and implement it in our lives.  For the brothers and sisters that have not returned from China, lets pray for their safe return back.  As for Winki, lets pray for her of the pain she might still be feeling.  Hope you return to fellowship soon.  Happy Fourth of July to everyone!